It was made official on the Monday night episode of Jon and Kate Plus Eight; Kate Gosselin has filed for divorce citing “irreconcilable differences.” Both Jon and Kate stated that it was the “best thing for our kids,” …”our kids shouldn’t see us fighting” …”this is the kids’ house” …”we are going to alternate living in the house …”
What should we make of this turn of events?
Whether or not you are a “Jon and Kate” fan, as Christians we are saddened by the news that this couple is planning to end their marriage. God’s design is that husband and wife would “be one.
“The position that a divorce is “for the sake of the kids” is not always accurate. What IS best for the kids? The best thing you can do for your kids is to have a healthy marriage with Christ at the center.
Making the commitment to love your spouse takes time, effort and patience. It is not easy, but just because something is difficult does not mean it is impossible. Deuteronomy 30:11 (NIV) says, “Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.”
Hearing Jon and Kate talk made me think of a couple lessons for every married couple to consider:
“It’s not good to be arguing in front of the kids.” Having disagreements or differing opinions is not wrong. Being disagreeable and disrespectful in expressing our different opinions is. When kids witness how Mom and Dad work through their differences, it helps them acquire tools to do the same in their relationships. The key is the commitment to press through those disagreements.
“This is the kids’ house.” “They need the security of this house.” Believe me, children care about having the security of their parents love and of God’s love much more than the security of a house. Children thrive in homes where love abounds. How many of us have seen evidence of this while visiting another family on a short-term mission trip?
A marriage that is founded on belief in Christ will still have bumps along the way. Husband and wife will still have differing strengths and weaknesses because of their personalities and their genders. Marriages of 10 years (like Jon and Kate’s) or 37 years (like John and Kendra’s J) can find opportunities for growth all along the way. We still bump along this journey called marriage and we are still learning…learning to love, learning to accept one another, and learning to develop our strengths and diminish our weaknesses. Through all of this we are modeling a behavior for our kids.
And, the most important thing we can do is model our faith in Christ with Him at the center of our marriage. “Our children will see that no matter what may seem more exciting or important or tantalizing, putting our identity in Jesus is the best choice.” (from Do Your Kids a Favor. Love Your Spouse. Kendra and John Smiley).
I would love to hear from you on this subject. Please email me at Kendra@KendraSmiley.com
Helping You MAKE THE NEXT RIGHT CHOICE
www.KendraSmiley.com
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