8 Ways to Help Turn Around Bad Behavior

As you probably know I have three children who are now 3 1/2, 5 1/2, and 8.  The two older are boys.  There’s definitely sibling rivalry, fights, the whole bit.  It seems that one of them will have a stream of bad behavior for a few weeks then it will flip-flop and the other one will have it. (Thank goodness they don’t usually have it at the same time!)  And Kayli’s usually pretty good so I don’t have to lump her into this scenario.

So here are a few tips to consider when you’re sick and tired of all the chaos!

1. Make sure your kids are getting enough of their oils (fish oil, omega-3, etc.).  I’ve heard studies that show that many children who are having bad behaviors over a period of time are not getting enough of their daily amount of oils.  To read more on this topic click here to see another post with full details.
2. Make a spread sheet with each child’s name and list each bad behavior (disrespect, backtalking, hitting, damaging the house or others’ possessions, etc.)  Sit down with each child and come up with a consequence for each of these infractions (no TV for 2 days, no computer for 1 1/2 days, clean a toilet, make all the beds one day, etc.).  Below the consequence section have several blank lines which include an additional two columns for the start date and end date of the current infraction.  For instance, it will look like: Sawyer, hitting, no Wii or computer for 1 day, starting Tues and ending on Wed.  If the bad behavior happens near the end of the day the consequence will start the next day.
3. When they call each other names have them donate $1 of their allowance to a “Charity Jar”.  Periodically the jar will be donated to a charity of the family’s choice.
4. Make sure your child is drinking enough WATER.  Sodas, juice, etc. do not count.  Most children get cranky when they are dehydrated because it kicks in the thing in the body that tells your brain that you’re hungry. (Sorry, I don’t remember the technical term for what that is!)  Anway, only water counts.  They need 1/2 of their body weight in ounces every day in water. For example, if your child weighs 50 lbs. he needs 25 oz. in water every day.  Using a water bottle with the oz. labeled on the outside is very helpful!  You can even pour some into a separate cup with ice if they prefer it that way.
5. Take away priveleges.  One way is by using the sheet mentioned in #3.  Another way is to do it one infraction at a time.  However, when they’re going through a period of multiple infractions it’s hard to remember them all!
6. Have them clean a toilet or do something they hate to do!  After doing a few of these they get the message that you’re not going to put up with the bad behaviors!!
7. Stick to your guns!  Be consistent!  Do what you say you’re going to do!  Don’t give an inch!! (if you’ve done this before you know it’s a huge mistake!).  Once they get it that you’re not a push-over any more, that you’re not going to give in the least (even with a huge amount of begging), they’ll stop expecting it start turning their behavior around.
8. Parent with “Love and Logic”.  I’ve written about this before.  It’s a wonderful, loving way to parent babies through teens.  If there ever was a “handbook for parenting” this would be it!!  The book is called “Parenting with Love and Logic” and the one geared more towards younger children is called “Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: birth through age 6″.  Both are written by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.  Excellent books I can recommend highly enough!  See them on the Recommended Books page to your upper left.  You will find a wealth of additional information at the Love and Logic website at www.LoveAndLogic.com.